Tuesday, January 17, 2006

bring out the branston (its confession time again)

So much for an early night!! I got out of the bath and got ready for bed at 10.30pm, flicking on Radio 2 for a bit of Mark Radcliffe before sleep.

I like Mark's show and long-term blog readers will remember that I've been on his show before, winning myself a mug by recognising Madness' One Step Beyond from a short clip in the Crucial 3 game he has. As soon as the clip of today's song came on, I recognised it - So Real by Jeff Buckley. So I sent a text off and thought nothing more of it.

About 10 minutes later, the phone rang. Apparently mine was the first response they received and I'd got through again! It was half an hour before I actually spoke to Mark on air and I'd had the radio off all that time (you have to turn it off if you're going on air otherwise you create lots of nasty feedback) so I ended up talking to him live on air, over halfway through his show, barely having listened to any of it.

Last time I was on it was easy. Mark was really chatty and we just talked about bassoons and how they should be used more in popular music. Today was different. Sometimes, Mark has the poet, Ian MacMillan on the show and he collects info from the listeners which he writes into a poem for the end of the show. The theme for the poem today was "On this day..."

So the time comes and I go live on air with Mark and Ian. Nice chit chat... blah blah ... and then Mark asks me what interesting thing I've done today that could go in Ian's poem. Mind goes blank. Aargh! Quick flick through what I've done today.... uni (boring), more uni (more boring), writing essay (even more boring) and a bit of organising Jude's birthday surprise (can't talk about that on national radio... she's listening). So I give in and admit that my life is dull, hoping he'll move on to something else. No.
He asked what I do (student teacher).
What have I done today (gone to uni).
So what have I studied today? (assessment.... see how dull?!).
What about lunch, where did I go? (nope, stayed at uni.)

So he asked what I'd had for lunch.
And here's the confession. I lied. Live on national radio. I lied. Two reasons really - firstly my mind was still blank and racing and secondly that I didn't really have lunch, more a late breakfast in between lectures. "Sandwiches," I heard myself saying. "What did you have in them?" asks Mark. The voice that appears to be speaking for me says "Cheese.... and pickle" WHAT????!!! I don't think I've EVER made myself cheese and pickle sandwiches for lunch!! It seemed to work though, and after a murmur of approval at my apparent choice of sandwich filling, Mark finally asked me what the track was and the interview/ordeal was over.

Except it wasn't. Whilst the aforementioned Jeff Buckley track was playing, Ian MacMillan decided to use my fictitious sandwiches as the basis for his entire poem!
Oh man, what a fraud I am!!

It was quite a good poem actually (better than the sandwiches, all things considered!) and almost every section ended with the line "And Rachel had cheese and pickle sandwiches in Coventray" (-tray to make it rhyme with the rest of the, probably not so fictitious, events in the poem.) Since the phone call I've thought of a million and one appropriately interesting things I could have said. But they probably wouldn't have had such a profound impact on the poem so maybe it wasn't so bad?

It'll be published on the Radio 2 website soon so I'll add a link as soon as it appears. They're sending me the original handwritten copy along with my Mark Radcliffe mug!

I must remember to think of interesting things to say before I text in next time!!


  1. I thought that was weird... fishpaste girl!!!

  2. that is the funniest thing i ever heard. am with jude cracking up into a boiler room computer. good to know though- just in case i ever phone into lovely dermot's show (not to win anything-just to talk to him) I'll know to have a written list in front of me of everything I ate that day...because you just never know. Clearly.

  3. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! So that's what happens to students when I ask them questions?!

    V. funny Rach! :o)

  4. I doubt you'll go to hell for telling Mark Radcliffe you had a cheese and pickle sandwich when you hadn't. That's saved for people who download copyrighted music for free...

  5. That made me laugh very hard!

  6. You've been on air with Mark Radcliffe? Wowy, I'm rather impressed. I used to listen to him and Lard (Mark Riley) on radio 1, and thier show was a daytime haven of insane wit and fine musical taste. Good times :)

    I once texted into Zane Lowe's show, on said radio 1, and managed to win a massive bag of new music. Competition winning days are fab!

  7. A couple of yrs ago I rung Virgin to tell them the name of the baby on the front of Nirvana's Nevermind, and was the first response! (pretty astonishing, bearing in mind I googled for it)

    Won entire back-catalogue of Nirvana - all albums and compilations. A little surreal :o)



Sometimes I do go on...