wanted: old lady

Must have knowledge and experience of sewing machine, and a large amount of patience.


When we moved into our house in Coventry I had a day or so of extreme domestic goddessness. I took up (half) of the curtains and used the offcuts to cover some large foam squares we had which later became sofa cushions.

The fact that I only took up half of the curtains is quite key. For 2 and a half years, we lived with 2 short curtains and 2 long curtains in our front window - the short ones in the middle and the long ones on the outside so it didn't look too odd. Now we're in London, the short ones are too short for any of the windows. The long ones, untouched by my scissors or sewing machine, are too long.

So, my domestic goddess side has returned and I have taken up the curtains. All of them this time. I was determined to do it properly, shunning wonderweb for the joy and delight of the sewing machine. Foiled at the first hurdle, I have since fixed them with wonderweb. But we still have some cushiony things that could do with some covers and it seems to make sense to use the curtain offcuts again.

Unfortunately, last time I used Mum's sewing machine. Aging, slow and with a penchant for chewing up fabric but one which I am familiar with and can usually coax into action. Since then, Mum has reclaimed her sewing machine, leaving me with one she redeemed from an old lady's house she was helping to clear. I was very grateful.

BUT.... I can't make it work! I can't work out what the dials mean, how to get it to stitch like I want it to. I can't even get it to do that spinny thing where it puts more thread on the bobbin. And seeing as all the bobbins are empty, I can't sew anything either.

Hence the need for an old lady! Old ladies always know how to do these things. If any of you have one, can you send her over please?