five minute friday: wonder

Wonder.

I don't use the word very often but I think its something I do all the time. Leave me to my own devices and my mind drifts, chewing over an earlier conversation or an event or something I read. I wonder.

And so often it can be negative. I wonder what might have been. All the "what if?" questions. Quite fun, sometimes, to rewrite your own life story. But a distraction from the reality of today. That's OK, to a point. Maybe even leads to improvements and a better way. But on the other hand does it just tempt me to believe that what I have isn't good enough, that I should be/have/do better? I become regretful of the have-nots rather than grateful for the haves. I see the details of life as unfortunate irritants, rather than opportunities to marvel and be thankful.

My first teaching placement for my PGCE was with a year 2 class in a small school in north Warwickshire. The early placements are largely observations so by the time I was asked to take a science lesson I was keen to get stuck in. The class were learning about electricity and basic circuits and I was given the session with all the wires, bulbs and batteries. It was all set out, each pair of children had a piece of paper on their desk with a bulb in a holder, 2 wires with crocodile clip ends and an AA battery. We talked about how it all worked with demonstrations etc and then the children had a go.

The room was full of children clipping wires all over the place. But Lewis is the one I remember. I was at his table when he completed the circuit. The final crocodile clip attached to the bulb. The lightbulb went on, not just in the circuit, but behind his eyes too. Genuine wonder at the shining light that was a result of his simple connecting of the bits and pieces in front of him. A beautiful moment - for many of us we'd disregard it because the it was so simple. But Lewis' face and enjoyment of the moment is a reminder to wonder.

The word reminds me of a beautiful song by Keith & Kristyn Getty; Don't Let Me Lose My Wonder.

I've seen days melt into nights in circles of lights,
I've watched a spider spin a star between the window box flowers,
I've heard you laugh and cry in a single sigh, and a story form within.

Don't let me lose my wonder.
Don't let me lose my wonder.

I saw her broken dreams inside but helping others fly,
I saw his eyes without a doubt though other lights faded out,
And though her calling roared such graciousness flowed
From the vision of her soul.

A baby cried through the dark beneath a jeweled spark,
I knew Your voice upon the hill and heard my lostness still,
I found my home in the light where wrong was made right
And You rose like the morning star.

Don't let me lose my wonder
Don't let me lose my wonder.

It doesn't mention God at all but if you've ever heard it you'll know it's a prayer. God don't let me lose my wonder. Don't let me lose sight of you in the every day details. Don't let me miss seeing you even when everything seems dark and negative.

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